The Dating Dilemma | being single in Hawaii

Social media is neither good nor bad; it’s a tool -- it’s neutral. So why do we feel so distant in a world that’s so connected? Kendria Tangjian launched Kendria Dates in 2017 to share her dating life after being single for 5 years. “I realized dating sucks!” she explained, “It wasn’t easy to create meaningful connections and seemed superficial.”

Kendria began vlogging her journey to create a space where others can relate to her dating experiences and share their own. She knew there was a need and felt an unshakeable desire to create a space that curated meaningful connections. A year later, during a typical self care wax session with Courtney Ro, REAL Social was born.

“We wanted to create a business that would provide a safe place for people to be their authentic selves and engage in ways to deeply connect with others,” said Kendria. “Our mission at REAL Social is to Restore Empathy And Love (what REAL literally stands for).”

Michelle: You have a very open dialogue with your audience on Instagram. What’s the juiciest topic you’ve posted so far? 

Kendria: Sex is always a juicy topic. Anytime I share a personal experience of sex and what I’ve learned about it, people are likely to engage. I find it’s a topic people often struggle with because feelings of shame surround it. So, when they’re able to connect to what I’m sharing it gives them a sense of liberation which in turn liberates me too.

Michelle: Do you ever feel any resistance to sharing a thought? How do you move past it to post it? 

Kendria: Yes, absolutely. That feeling of resistance is only my voice of fear trying to tell me to avoid vulnerability. From what I see, people engage more with me when I am vulnerable because it’s often something they identify with. Social media is a place where most people try to portray perfection but imperfection is where deep connection is cultivated. When we share our truth, we create a safe space for people to share theirs as well. 

Michelle: Share your biggest aha moment about dating as it stands today. 

Kendria: Dating is really a journey to self & it can be one of the greatest tools used for personal growth. Every experience while dating is an opportunity to look within. Each relationship is a mirror of all the parts of us that need healing, acceptance, & love. 

Michelle: What does empathy mean to you and how does it affect your dating life? 

Kendria: Empathy means the ability to understand another’s perspective from their experience. Having empathy while dating has helped me practice discernment & to take nothing personal. It’s helped me shift my mindset from selfishness to selflessness. I used to date with the focus of getting what I could from someone & would often place expectations on them for who I want them to be. Now I date with the intention to give what I can to someone, explore them as they are, & be open to what I can learn through their view of the world.

Michelle: Where do you plan on taking your business in the next 5 years? 

Kendria: Kendria Dates has always been a hobby + something I simply love to do. In the next 5 years, I’d like to expand more on collaborations with people of my local community and brands that could provide products for a better dating life. With REAL Social, we look to be a trusted brand in Hawai’i for deeper connections. We will leverage the connections + topics from Kendria Dates to offer meaningful events, kits, and safe spaces for singles, couples, and those looking to connect with our community. Our plan is to use self-discovery, open conversations, and fun as our path to connection.

Putting yourself out there ain’t easy, whether that be through dating or your business. In either scenario, it’s uncomfortable and makes you feel like you’re standing naked in the cold with your heart in your hands. So why do it? Like Kendria expresses about her dating life, building a business is your journey to self. 

If you’re looking for a supportive community of like-minded people, then join us as an Oak + Pine Society Member. Surround yourself with others who are on the same journey as you. Click here to see if our membership doors are open.